The worst part is, I don’t even think, objectively, that I’m a terrible person. I just hear these stupid thoughts in my head telling me this, and eventually I just start telling myself.
When I am in a good mood I am sociable and kind and fair and, sometimes, funny, and I think I am attractive and capable.
But this is like some kind of Jekyll and Hyde bullshit?? I just turn into this fucking horrible person, and I’m jealous, spiteful, mean, passive-agressive, stand-offish, ugly, selfish, sorry for myself, and generally obnoxious.
And then I’m like, wow, holy shit, where did this bitch come from, I thought I was better than this.
But apparently I am not better than this! Because I act like this on a daily basis. I am getting real sick of my own bullshit and I kind of feel like I should sit me down and have a long stern talk with myself like I am a troubled child who will suddenly stop acting like a brat with good old fashioned logic.
How do I go back to the other person, I liked the other person more.